By July 2, 2012 0 Comments Read More →

9 Powerful Life Lessons From Studying with a Monk

Robert Piper, Tiny Buddha
Waking Times

When I was 18 years old, I suffered from anxiety and stomach problems. A compassionate physician and practicing Buddhist referred me to a Taoist monk who specialized in meditation and martial arts. I ended up healing myself of anxiety and stomach issues by doing meditation, and went on a great journey of self-discovery.

Here are 9 lessons I learned while studying with a monk:

1. Keep trying until you get it right.

The most important life lesson I learned was trying something three times (maybe even four times) before you stop trying and move on. Also, this monk taught me that, even after multiple tries, you should work on different angles to approach things that are difficult.

If you keep trying, you’ll eventually get where you’re going.

2. The answer to your question is inside of you.

As part of the original monastery training, a monk didn’t answer direct questions from a student unless it was a well thought-out question. A Chinese proverb says, “Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself.”

Some forms of Zen Buddhism use a very similar style of training. An old saying (by Taoist monks) goes like this: “In making a four corner table, the teacher shows the student how to make one corner. It’s the student’s job to figure out how to make the other three.”

They did this because they were preparing a student to deal effectively with problems in the real world.

I traveled to South Korea one time, and I found it fascinating how much you have to rely on your intuition when you don’t speak the native language of a country. I remember one instance, I had trouble explaining to the cab driver where my hotel was, and he didn’t speak English. So I had to get out of the cab and ask several people until I could find someone to tell the cab driver in Korean how to get to my hotel.

In life, whenever we try new things, we have to go into new places with only a small amount of information. The real world doesn’t give us all the answers. The greatest teacher is inside of us.

3. Real wisdom in life comes from doing something and failing.

Prior to starting meditation, I used to get upset when I’d try something and fail.

I’ve been in sales since I was sixteen. I remember going to work and getting so angry with myself because I didn’t get a sale. If I ever got rejected, I’d get upset with myself, and I’d want to quit my job. But I just keep failing over and over—until I became good at it.

I remember, when I first started doing meditation, I ran into several problems. For example, at first it was difficult to calm down; but if you stick with it, its gets easier and easier. I tried for only a few minutes, and then every day, I added more time onto my meditation.

When we struggle, we learn about ourselves and what we need to do to become stronger.

4. When you start to do meditation you recognize the egotistical mind.

Everything in the ego’s world is the result of comparing. I compared myself to other salesmen and would blame myself because I wasn’t making as much money as them.

When I started doing meditation, I began to build separation from this egoistical mind, which is consistently making these comparisons. A lot of us try something and get rejected, so we give up. Even worse, we blame ourselves for a long time and get depressed. When I started to do meditation, I began to identify my ego and was able to build separation from it.

That’s what happens when we meditate: We separate from the part of ourselves that dwells on comparisons, and start learning to live a life that isn’t driven by our egos.

5. We must be both compassionate and resilient.

The monk wouldn’t meet with me to train unless I called him a minimum of three times. I hated this part. I used to call and call and he would never answer. But this is how life is. How many times do you have to call or email someone to get something done in the real world? It’s usually several times.

Most of us blame ourselves when we try once to do something and fail. At the time, I hated this part of the training, but now I think it was the most important life lesson.

There’s a Taoist proverb that says, “Cotton on the outside, steel on the inside.”

It reminds us to be compassionate, but not weak.

6. Patience is a virtue.

The monk always made me wait—and I dreaded this.

For example, when I got to his house to train, he’d make me wait for a minimum of a half-hour, sometimes longer. We’d go out to dinner on Friday nights and he’d show up at the restaurant an hour late.

He’d tell me to meet him at a particular restaurant at 7:00. I’d get there and find out that he wasn’t there. So I’d usually be sitting in the restaurant by myself fumbling with my phone, acting like I was texting someone, while worrying about what everyone at the restaurant was thinking about me.

Keep in mind, it’s not like I could call him; I don’t think the guy ever turned his cell phone on. Then he’d show up at about 8:15 and act like nothing happened.

His first question was always, “How’s your mother and father?” (Of course in my head I’m thinking, “What do you mean, ‘How’s my mother and father?’ I just waited here for an hour and fifteen minutes.”)

But after a few years of this, it never bothered me; and not only that, it spread to every area of my life. Because of this training, I can honestly say that I very rarely get upset about anything. I never get agitated anymore when I have to wait in a long line or when someone cuts me off on the highway.

Patience is the gift of inner calm.

7. Detach from your ego.

At first, it’s hard to sit at a restaurant by yourself. You’re constantly worrying, thinking that people probably think you’re a loser because you’re sitting by yourself. But the reality is, you will never be happy if you care about what people think you!

Prior to starting meditation, I’d get upset over just about anything. Now, nothing really bothers me. Recently, I was in the airport and there was a several hour delay on my flight. I just used that time to do meditation. Ten years ago, I would have become extremely upset. An airplane delay would have ruined my day.

When you let go of your ego needs, it’s easier to accept and even benefit from whatever comes at you.

8. In Taoism, they say, “No self, No enemy.”

It’s the enemy within that causes all of our fears, worries, and insecurities. If you come to terms with this enemy within, it will impact every area of your life. It’s the identification with the “self/ego” that causes all of life’s problems.

How many times do we not go for something because of fear? Think about all the fears that we have conjured up in our minds that stop us from being truly happy. If you can conquer the enemy within yourself, you won’t have an enemy outside yourself.

9. Happiness come from within, and also comes from outside.

I learned this from observing the Buddhist Physician I met. He used to do meditation in his office before he would interact with his patients. He was one of the happiest and most compassionate people I’ve ever met.

By creating happiness inside, he was able to increase that emotional state by spreading it to others.

We must cultivate happiness from within, and work to spread it around to everyone we interact with. The monk used say, “Everyone has a purpose or a mission in life.”

We have to find happiness within, and also find our purpose on the outside.

About the Author

Robert Piper is a meditation instructor & the creator of monkinthecity.com. He studied with a Taoist monk for 9 ½ years & traveled to Asia & Australia in search of other meditation teachers. Robert is currently writing a book on meditation to make it more accessible for stress relief, health & happiness.

~~ Help Waking Times to raise the vibration by sharing this article with the buttons below…

Post a Comment

Media Gallery

Grounding Principle

Grounding Principle

Video: This video demonstrates the powerful principle called grounding and its relevance in one’s daily life.

By October 12, 2014 0 Comments Read More →
How Does Fear Work?

How Does Fear Work?

Video: How does fear actually work? What happens when we become afraid?

By October 12, 2014 0 Comments Read More →
The Round City Concept

The Round City Concept

This idea of a round city may not be the answer to all the problems but this can build a far better environment…

By October 11, 2014 0 Comments Read More →
Re-Greening The Deserts

Re-Greening The Deserts

This film should be an inspiration to everyone to not give up and save the deserts of the earth.

By October 11, 2014 0 Comments Read More →
The Cheeseburger Footprint

The Cheeseburger Footprint

Waking Times Video: Have you ever considered the ecological impact of making an ordinary cheeseburger? ~~ Help Waking Times to raise the vibration by sharing this article with the buttons below…

By October 9, 2014 0 Comments Read More →

Recent by Waking Times

Dodging the Tuition Debt Bullet

Dodging the Tuition Debt Bullet

Anna Hunt – Student tuition debt is astronomical in the US, and Germany announces free higher ed for all…

By October 11, 2014 0 Comments Read More →
Where the Warrior Comes In: Authenticity vs. Manipulation

Where the Warrior Comes In: Authenticity vs. Manipulation

Ida Lawrence, Contributor Waking Times At this moment in time, as we stand on the precipice of devolution or evolution, what does ‘pay attention’ mean to us? Our hearts seek wisdom and courage, and the justified faith that attention can bring. We came into this, so is attention the price of being born… an obligation? […]

A Call To Hearts Lifting to the Higher Self

A Call To Hearts Lifting to the Higher Self

Dr. Stewart Bitkoff, Contributor Waking Times When are we going to stop thinking in terms of religion, country, tribe, town, neighborhood, planet, business and I. When will we begin to think in terms of humanity and helping all people reach higher? Yes. It is natural to think about self, but when are we going to […]

By October 7, 2014 4 Comments Read More →
Inducing Higher Intelligence and Heightened Senses with Gamma Brain Waves

Inducing Higher Intelligence and Heightened Senses with Gamma Brain Waves

Anna Hunt, Staff Writer Waking Times Brainwave entrainment is a way to train the brain to synchronize to a certain frequency, such as gamma, beta, delta, theta and alpha. Each frequency matches a certain state of consciousness. For example, delta is the brainwave dominant while in an unconscious state such as sleeping; while theta and […]

Dangers of Smart Meters Extend Beyond Radiation Exposure

Dangers of Smart Meters Extend Beyond Radiation Exposure

Waking Times The electro-magnetic radiation given off by smart meters has become a health concern for many, but, millions of people worldwide whose homes have been outfitted with these devices must also be aware of the dangers of overheating and malfunction. Recently, there have been an extraordinary number of smart meter-related fires reported all over […]