15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy
Purpose Fairy
Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:
1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?
2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.
“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu
3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.
4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.
“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle
5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!
“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle
6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.
8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.
9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell
10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer
11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only fear we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.
13. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.
14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.
15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.
Category: Consciousness, Evolution, Ideas, Inspiration, Peace, Self, Transformation
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16. Waking Times
Quoting FDR on attaining happiness is like quoting Lucifer on the joys of prayer.
AHAHAHAHA, and you sir have made my day.
“Give up on your fears”, “fear is just an illusion”
Tell that to those who are suffering under the heel of oppression that their fear is all just an ‘illusion’.
Tell that to those who are living with bombs and bullets flying over heads on a daily basis that this fear, ‘doesn’t really exist.
The sheer arrogance and ignorance in this statement stinks like the usual rubbish they we constantly hear and read in our JMSN.
Damn those scumbags who preach such utter nonsense.
wow, Civillian! guess you have a ways to go before you give up #’s 1,2,3,5,6,7,8,9,10,13,14… and for all we know, 15.
Maybe if you take a little time to reflect, you would realize that everything is a product of your mind… including fear. It doesn’t make it any less real (to you) but it also makes it controllable.
Civilian, many of those who have bullets flying around etc have dispensed with fear, it is these that make the difference. Fear will not give them an extra minute nor allow them dignity, will not reward anyone in any way. Nothing to fear but fear itself.
Civilian – It is safe to say there are real fears that are appropriate. For example, if I’m walking in the woods and a grizzly bear starts chasing me, I’m going to be full of fear as I’m running as fast as I can! But I think the article was referring to fears that are self-imposed; such as, fear of public speaking, fear of going somewhere by ourselves; fear of the unknown and things we can’t control. Those fears can keep us from experiencing true happiness.
fear is not real. fear is a product of your imagination. danger is real. danger is what you should watch out for.
Still afraid?
Great post! I would contradict the one about correcting others by pointing out that FDR was misquoted. It was “The only THING to fear is fear itself.”
Oops… “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” There!
Some love to wallow in fear and pain and refuse to look outside of where they are. It is difficult when bombs and bullets are flying but it doesn’t change the message: This is an illusion. Live and thrive in it and get more of it or realize this too will pass and you will survive any way it goes.
People that don’t stand for anything, will fall for anything.
Awesome article!
…An un-evolved state of consciousness, one heavily enmeshed in duality and separation will manifest as war, rape, abuse etc. You see, it is the state of the consciousness through the mind that manifests in the outer. God has never decreed that suffering is good for you. Because of who you really are, you are creators, manifesting your state of consciousness on personal and universal levels.
Many who suffer say; “We did not create this”. Dear ones, you did not intentionally create the painful issues of your lives, but the fact that you still have a consciousness of duality and separation, simply functions to manifest it in your experience. Please understand that you hold great power of creation, for you are indeed the Divine in manifestation. Not your human self, no, don’t go around saying I am God in an egotistical way, but simply understand that your true essence, that which is your truest Self, is Divine.
A great master revealed this to mankind 2000 years ago, but the people were not ready. You are ready now. You have been on a journey that only the very brave undertake… strong and courageous souls choosing to evolve through the fog of duality and separation which is the hardest of all evolutionary journeys a soul can choose. You chose this path brave ones, and when you graduate you will understand how powerful you really are and how much more knowledgeable because of the difficult path you willingly chose.
We send love and light to all. You are doing a fine job. Soon you will understand better that which you do.
Trust, center within, know, and most of all love… for all, yes all, are One and this realization is love.
We are the Arcturian Group onenessofall.com
Whereisthis god of yours?
easier said than done
Wow. Why not just make #1 “Give up being unhappy” and save the other 14?
I don’t think that we are even able to give up any of those things, its just in our nature to think and feel that way. What we should try to do is to overcome those thoughts and feelings and act against them. Not to mention, happiness comes and goes, if we completely gave up being unhappy, then how will we ever know how great happiness really is?
Well, they say that you don’t need to know how awful brussel sprouts taste in order to love chocolate.
This list of 15 things to be wary of within one’s habitual manner of being are not at all new concepts, but they are laid out in a way more penetrating and helpful than is usually the case. We’ve all heard these aphorisims or maxims before, but not as worded so clearly (with examples) . Maybe it helps to be old to fully appreciate the possibilities held in the suggestions presented in the list. I am a psychologist (and I’m 80) and have frequently preached parts of the wisdom here, but not as helpfully or, perhaps, as clearly. Its not helpful to focus on what’s ineffective in the list,or get too concrete about it. Best to try accepting and see what happens rather than carping from a safe distance.
It seems that what you mean is to become a wimp and not care about anything. Allow people to walk all over you and don’t care that you’ve become a boring, useless excuse for a person.
If you don’t care enough for anything to become incensed over it, what use are you as a person? That’s not the same as someone who is outraged or offended over everything but everyone should care enough about something to want to take action.
Caring is overrated
I agree with you! The status quo sucks for the vast majority of people, and if we just want to be happy then nothing will ever get better. I admire the people who can put their own “happiness” (whatever that may be!) aside to do the work it actually takes for the whole of society to improve. I personally hope I NEVER lose sight of the fact that my own happiness actually matters very little, and in fact what matters is to do as best as one can to make this world a little less horrible for everyone.
They forgot to “Give up on life”! lol
This article has some truth, but they have taken it way too far. If you give up on all those things, you give up caring about anything. What kind of life is that?