Why Doubt, Disillusionment, Despair and Depression Are Gateways To Authentic Spiritual Awakening
Being well adjusted to a sick society is no accomplishment; it’s a disgrace.
The pain of doubt, disillusionment, despair and depression is extremely valuable in the same way that the pain from sticking your hand into a fire is valuable and necessary.
That’s because the infinitely deep human heart cannot be satisfied with puny things like fame, power, sex and wealth. It is appropriate for divinely human individuals to feel the 4 D’s because the infinite cannot be fulfilled by the finite.
People are depressed because they don’t know who and what they are. Their contexts and labels for themselves are way too small. They are depressed for extremely good reasons.
Those reasons should be respected, uncovered, exposed and appreciated for what they really are: the psycho-tectonic tremblings of the Infinite Heart which is Alive as all things.
You have every reason to be extremely glad that you are depressed because it means that you are vastly bigger and greater than you have ever imagined.
The depression, like the pain of the fire, motivates us to see that our thoughts, assumptions and actions are mistaken, toxic and lethal.
If you were satisfied with material things and a false identity, THAT would be a problem.
Your task is to see that you caused the depression, just like sticking your hand in the fire caused the pain. The “fire” that caused the depression is Spiritual Error.
Spiritual Error occurs when we mistake the map for the territory, or the menu for the meal.
Every one of your ideas about yourself is incorrect. That’s because you are not an idea.
You are a Presence.
Ideas spring out of Presence like maps spring out of territories. Maps are useful but they are not the Territory. You are the Territory but you overlook this and call your Presence a body, mind and self in a world in a universe.
While you are intimately associated with the body/mind/self, you are not identical to it, anymore than a movie screen is identical to the images projected onto it. You are the Light of Awareness that shines through the projector of body and mind. This is what produces time and space.
The body refracts Presence into space; the mind refracts Presence into time.
You are the Light, the Projector, the Stage, the Images and the Audience.
We imagine ourselves to be the mind in a body in the world and that’s true, but its not the Whole Picture.
You are the Whole Picture. You are One Presence, unchanged by whatever you are Present to.
You are like a mirror which is unchanged by whatever it reflects.
Failure to understand this results in depression, thank God.
Use your depression for what it is intended for. It is not a “condition” that needs to be “treated”.
It is a Sacred Message, just like the pain the hand feels in the fire. That pain is not a “condition” either, it’s extremely valuable information.
Depression is what happens when what you want is too small, or who you think you are is some puny, cornball, cheesy, cardboard map, a cartoon version of your Infinite Heart.
You can prove this to yourself simply and directly. Turn your attention to the one who is depressed, the one who is aware of the depression. You are not a body/mind that is depressed; You are the Awareness of the body/mind that is depressed.
Become curious about that One. Pay attention to that One. Deeply contemplate the Wonder and the Mystery and the Gargantuan Magnificence of that One.
In this way, You will be restored to your True Identity as Infinite Love and Happiness and you will see that you are not merely the objects of your Awareness, but Awareness Itself.
The depression is an inevitable artifact of an identity that is incorrect.
The solution is to take your hand out of the fire of false ideas, cultural conditioning, scientific materialism and religious superstition.
This is the story of the Prodigal Son, who spends all his life energy pursuing gratification and love in all the wrong places, then drags his penniless, ravaged self back to his Father, who welcomes him with open arms.
“When I looked for myself, I found God. When I looked for God, I found myself”- Rumi
That’s because they are identical.
Give up the idea of being a separate self in a mind, in a body, in a world.
Embrace the Truth of your moment to moment experience of and as, Awareness and notice that it PRECEDES objects and ideas. All of your experiences, perceptions, thoughts and ideas are appearing in your Awareness, like clouds in the Sky.
The Sky is not affected by the clouds, nor by their absence.
Awareness is not affected by body and mind, nor by their absence.
The only thing that doesn’t change is the Awareness of the change.
When your body dies, absolutely nothing with change for You.
You will experience its death and will be amused that You used to think that it was You.
Your Actual Nature is Infinite Love and Happiness, but it got buried under mountains and centuries of false assumptions.
It’s buried, yes. But it’s still the Truth.
Dig It Up.
About the Author
In addition to writing essays like these, Robert Cinque also builds beautiful, affordable and comfortable yurts for homeowners and businesses in the fabulous Skagit County. Throughout the past three decades, his work has included building and installing wood art at local landmarks like the Cascadian Farm Organic Fruitstand in Rockport (WA), the Birdsview Brewery at the foot at “the American Alps” in the Pacific Northwest’s Skagit Valley, and many others.