The Lonesome Road

Flickr - Walking the Path - AlicePopkornIda Lawrence, Contributor
Waking Times

I’ve never been one to have a wake-up ritual, but lately there seems to be one forming. When I come into awareness that I’m awake, gratitude comes in first. I’ve been saying a thank you prayer, to myself and All that Is… every day, however it unfolds, this is life and it’s wonderful to be here.

Something else has ‘come in’ lately too: a correction. Life is not a school, or a testing place, or even an evolutionary journey for oneself. Being born into Life is not as self-serving as we may have viewed it. There is something greater, sacred and holy. Life is Grace… an opportunity TO serve. The realization is humbling in the extreme.

So, thankfulness comes first nowadays, and then the day continues. Get up and let the sunlight in, feed Miss Kitty, make that first cup of coffee, and go online to see what’s up in the world. Opening up the laptop, I wonder if anything really earth-shaking happened while I was sleeping. It takes about an hour to browse through the information and usually little has changed.

Covers being pulled off this deception and that one, and new cover-ups being hatched. Minds going everywhere, and to amazing extremes. But this morning it seems extra schizophrenic.

Some people say schizophrenia is a split in the mind, or a broken heart or broken soul. A split… a break… it’s so obvious how painful: one post talking messages from on high, one with warnings about what not to eat, one about child abuse, one exposing ancient secrets, one about the earth’s destruction, and then there’s the economic collapse, followed by ways to find happiness. Extremes. And once in a while a jewel… ahh yes… there are jewels in the mix.


  • The ‘uncovering’ we’re going through really does display more than a split – there are great separations. Transpersonal psychology asserts that schizophrenia is a self-healing process involving the removal of illusions and false beliefs that originate in programming. Well… that is a comforting thought. If the mind and heart and soul are broken, then surely there will come a healing… once illusions and falsehoods are seen for what they are.

    Moving on with my browsing, some old, old programming made its appearance. First, I read a post about the origin of the human being. The statement conveyed the following theory: The first human was androgynous and was self created from darkness through intention or will. He (the first human) was divinity. He wished to reproduce himself, so he made the woman from himself, in order to be able to do so. The writer went on to state that women need to face the truth: the man is divinity and the woman is made from divinity. There is a difference, he asserted.

    After I read it, I pondered the obvious question: how did the androgynous human become a ‘he’ instead of a ‘we’, or some other identifier? Maybe ‘we’ had the intention of separating. Maybe divinity wanted to know itself as well as reproduce itself, so we divided into two parts and looked and listened and loved the other part, and came together so we could feel as one again. That theory would work for me.

    I moved on, and within a few minutes came across a video that was supposed to be a profound revelation about evil. Okay, I figured I’d see what this person thinks about evil. Well, I had to tune out pretty quickly when he started to superimpose an image of ‘Satan’s face’ over an image of the female reproductive system. Evil to him is goddess worship, and he says one of the matrix religions is secretly built on it, and hiding it. What can I say? Yup – broken.

    I paused to wonder how such a belief could be healed. Here I was, having awakened in the morning, so grateful to be here, and it seemed the internet had taken me to observe the broken hearts and fractured souls. Yes… but surely something in them seeks relief, and surely they will find it one day.

    After my first dose of information, I put the computer aside and became quiet: how do I feel… let it emerge. Today it was, “God I’m lonesome.” As consistent throughout my life as the seasons: lonesome comes and goes and comes again. It’s not an ego thing or a ‘want more’ thing or a ‘something’s missing’ thing. No, lonesome isn’t lonely any more than melancholy is sad. It’s a feeling state.

    Time for a 2nd cup of coffee, listen to the birds talking, Miss Kitty wants to go outside, and then back to check out Facebook and see what the family is up to. Turns out that Facebook, of all things, took me to Grace. There was a jewel from a person who calls himself ‘Allegedly Known as Dave’. Reading his message was… well, you’ll see.

    “Finally beginning to understand the power of love as I awoke at 10:00 am and experienced a practical demonstration.

    As I gazed into the eyes of my Impossible Girl, I became overwhelmed with a sense of oneness, a deep connection that transcended any earthly physical union and at that moment a wonderful calm descended upon the world, I could feel the world beyond the room slow down and hold its breath in a perfect moment of stillness and it was no mere illusion, outside the window, the traffic noise disappeared, the trains stopped running, the birdsong stopped, the wind dropped and if people were walking past on the street they must have been wearing slippers and whispering because all there was, was a serene loving calm that emanated from the space between our hearts and seemed to ripple out beyond the confines of the bedroom and influence the world beyond. We were able to hold this state for a few minutes before a doubt or discordant thought would cross our minds and the spell would be broken and as if by magic a wood pigeon would hoot, a train would pass and the sounds of city would resume.”

    I read his statement several times, mesmerized. He went on to say that they mused about whether the love they experienced would ripple out and bring peace and serenity to others, and whether society’s dysfunctional relationships, based only on sexual attraction or contracts, are designed to prevent couples from positively affecting the world. And then he concluded, “We are creators in this reality, and we do so with the vibrational intentions created by focused emotions, of which love is the most powerful.”

    Love generators – co-creators: some of us daring to reach for a sacred way? I know I talk about it quite a bit, and there’s a reason for that. If we have reverence for the masculine and feminine, and see those polarities within our own being, then we open up to an enormous range of possibilities. The essence of truth is light and the essence of the creative is love: truth without love is serile and love without truth is powerless. We need the flow between them. We are the flow between them.

    I believe the couple’s musings were quite right. From the moment they found themselves together, in the frequency of spirit, they healed a miniscule part of the collective system. And yet miniscule isn’t really miniscule. One cell healed contains a vibrational resonance that can be felt by other cells. Healing spreads to another cell, and another, and the system becomes lighter.

    One might say that disease comes slowly, and healing comes slowly as well. That is true… but… disease has an end point and regeneration does not.

    Because he shared their experience, we are able to envision the flow of life’s regenerative principals through love. Thank you ‘Allegedly-Impossible’. Love generators… what a beautiful potentiality.

    Yes, the lonesome road comes up every now and then, but that, too, is a good place to walk… so quiet one can hear the soldier’s prayer: sacred sacred, holy holy, here… now.

    About the Author

    Ida Lawrence is an author, blogger, copywriter and editor based in Atlanta, Georgia. She has contributed to and edited two books on racial justice and human rights, and numerous articles on human rights, self-empowerment and related subjects. Her latest book is entitled The Warrior’s Way to Heaven on Earth. Ida has also published a companion book of blog favorites from http://talk2momz.com/.

    This article is offered under Creative Commons license. It’s okay to republish it anywhere as long as attribution bio is included and all links remain intact.

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