Grief is a Toning of Love

Fickr - Wilted - srqpixSoren Dreier, Guest
Waking Times

Grief is a beautiful feeling. It is very deep and it is very transcending. It seems to open some very deep layers in the heart and strangely enough; Grief also embeds Joy.

The joy of knowing, that we have this depth within us.

The joy of knowing, that Grief is an expression of love.

The joy of knowing, that when we are in Grief it becomes alchemistic and merges the higher emotions into a calm love, for whatever we might be grieving.

The bittersweet joy of the somehow ultimate detachment.

But we’ve got to look out that we don’t misuse Grief and we sure have to look out for the differences in: Grief, Sadness, Sorrow or self – deception.

Some people would say they grieve over themselves and lost opportunities or an event that they allowed to undermine their self-esteem. That is not possible and I have to pull an old rabbit out of the hat to explain, that which is: The Ego.
Nothing could be further from the Ego than Grief. The feeling and the genuineness of Grief are too deep and too beautiful. It’s a sensual feel.

If we go Ego – Grief, it is not Grief; it’s something else. Self-pity, self-indulgence, self sorrow and so on. It is the Ego saying: “What have I lost here – that will prevent me from getting my ego’s wishes – better cry.” It is as hollow as it gets. Understandable, but in any way: Not transcending Grief.


  • We have to be very vigilant sometimes, since the Ego holds so many traps.

    A good measurement could maybe be: Grief embeds forgiveness. So if we grieve over a lost one, we are actually able to measure what the feeling was: Self-indulgence/promotion, a show we put up?
    It is very hard to see in the process; it is much easier to see when we come out of it:

    “What is left of this person inside me?” The Love = good memories or all the problems this person gave me?

    The first state would be: Grief.
    The second state: Sadness.

    And those two feelings are so close and yet miles apart and we are very good at mixing them up.

    A provocative statement maybe:

    We can’t grieve anything that is not close to our hearts at a very deep and profound level.

    And yet people claim they grieve as the claim they love.

    So genuine Grief is a very good measurement of our deepest connections in this world. What they might be, I cannot make myself the judge of. It is highly individual, but maybe it’s fair to issue a warning: If your process does not include forgiveness it is not Grief. Grief is the most beautiful fuel in detachment and ‘letting go’ and ‘walking away’.

    Grief is sadness spiritualized.

    We can’t indulge grief like we can indulge sadness or feeling low. And a lot do that, stick to the feel of being low. That would be a condition of not feeling joy, happiness or even taking responsibility of not seeing this life as gift. Fixed eyes that won’t move on the ‘malfunctions’ of life, either personal or collective.

    The Life Killers, spiritual quick fix: If you’re near one – run like hell.

    What’s basically on the agenda here is unfulfilled expectations. Solution: Alter expectations and give in to: ‘Everything’s not okay yet – but you’re allowed to smile’ and if you don’t start very soon, see me run, since it is effectual behavior and very much designed for an audience.

    That is the downside to therapy by the way: If I keep my self in a state of being ‘very problematic and a very complicated project’ I´ll have an audience. Either the family or a Matrix therapist with an unhealthy checkbook balance.

    That is a clever way for the matrix to keep the flow of unhappy souls going and feeding it and I have a hunch that they don’t really want to see people happy. If people were – they would be out of a job.

    So there is only you, really, to take charge of your internal climate in a world where ‘think positive’ can be very exhausting; since genuine positivity hardly is a thought but a feel.

    If you need to see a therapist make a deal with yourself like: I´ll go 5 times and if I´m not feeling better or fixed – the therapist really isn’t that good or: Am I willing to be in charge here?

    It’s as always a flip-sided coin: Sometimes we need a perspective, but that is not therapy, that is guidance. It’s like getting lost on the road: Instead of keeping on driving in blindness, it might be smarter to stop the car and ask for directions. Sometimes we find ourselves in that state. That’s perfectly okay.

    But year after year: That’s full time navel digging and it will turn you into a full-time sad Matrix target. Don’t give the matrix that power.

    We have these very high vibe emotions of Joy, Calm, and Happiness, Love. Every single one has a counter emotion just as beautiful: Grief, Action, Emptiness and yes: Anger.

    I talked a bit about that in: The Spice in the Soul.

    Behind the soul rests The Spirit. Time to wake it up?

    That is the Joy in Grief. It does that.

    It is very personal and it is not the Ego. It is the soul knocked out of orbit and Spirit steps in.

    The Soul loves. The Spirit transcends that love into the sensual pulse and we understand that we need to approach this, not by advocating it or becoming self-absorbed in it.

    Grief has a celestial toning. It’s embedded in the spectrum of love.

    Beautiful.

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