Understanding True Love

Flickr - Roses - VinothChandarJona Bryndis, Guest
Waking Times

The English language offers two meanings for ‘True Love’, describing either the kind of love we feel for someone and/or the person your true love is subjected to. Both meanings primarily reflect on an emotion directed at somebody else.

When searching for the deeper meaning of True Love we will find that it describes a feeling inside which does not necessarily require an object. It is an expansive all-encompassing energetic resonance within us that is unconditional and trusting.

Working with True Love as Energetic Resonance

Unconditional Love is ego-less. It is an energy that surrenders to the Love for All…. the kind of Love the universe ‘feels’ for the totality of it’s holographic dimensions, parents feel for their children, a flower feels for its petals, a leaf feels for the wind that makes it dance… It is the Love of creation, the Love of the Divine, which does not expect anything back. It does not require any payback…it just IS.

Unconditional Love is based on Wholeness within and can be felt for in a flower, a baby, music, water, a laughing child, a person’s smile, a dog’s wagging tail or ideally, for every learning experience.

This is the resonance needed to attract our True Love into our lives, inside and outside. True Love means loving everything we are, do, feel or think. If we don’t/can’t love what we are, do, feel or think we are counteracting and imploding this field within us. If we cannot love ourselves, others can’t love us – we can’t love others.


  • When working with True Love on an energetic level we can learn that objectified love is a weak and projected form of love and therefore conditional. True Love does not require an object, it expresses in the object! True Love also doesn’t require energetic maintenance, such as looking good for our partner, doing him/her favors, controlling, manipulating or protecting – it cannot be ‘caught’ or ‘kept’ because it is the cause and effect of our inner energetic alignment and not another person. True Love is a state of energy, which can only be felt when we are resonating on the vibratory level of unconditionality.

    What is True Love?

    For most of us True Love is an ‘ideal’ – an idea. We regard a relationship based on true love as one of the most desirable aspects in a fulfilled life. However, not to take romanticism out of this kind of relationship, if we take an honest look at our preconceived idea of what ‘True Love’ really means to us, we will find that parts of this idea are programmed desires through societal conditioning: shows, movies, songs or literature – often packed with stereotypes and props.

    The intentions of the control-matrix for such a promoted self-destruct-program are clearly driven by support of consumerism (props, entertainment) and manipulation of the masses, keeping everyone in the constant delusional search for what doesn’t really exist. And…like so many of our unconscious collective programs, the majority of our preoccupations with ‘how True Love is supposed to be’ often lead to un-fulfillable expectations, idealization and disappointments.

    When it comes to experiencing True Love inside, many of us draw blank – do we really know what True Love feels like? How many of us have really experienced True Love inside? How many couples do we know that would qualify for a True Love relationship? How would be able to tell anyway?

    How to recognize True Love within?

    In our life we go through several stages of acceptance of love, but we never really experience True Love until we are willing to surrender our ego and its props – until we are willing to love ourselves unconditionally.

    Energetically seen, true love is a state of energy in which a person is in complete acceptance of Self, whole, congruent and able to unconditionally love him/herself and thus others.

    How do we know what it feels like? Not sure about you, but it took me a lot of inner work to start getting a glimpse of what this unconditional love towards myself really means….most days I still fail on some level! Critical Inner Voice, Inner Child fears/wounds, defense mechanisms and shadow aspects constantly bombard our inner self-love field…not to mention some of our incongruent perceptions of ourselves, unrealistic expectations and judgments of others.

    The trick to not falling for these non-loving distraction mechanisms is to connect with our heart. Here, we can learn to feel this expansive and self-propelled energy field of unconditional love, which allows us to discern.

    However, in order to feel true love inside and eventually to have a true love relationship we need to get over our mistrust to ourselves. Only if we can manage to overcome our fear of letting go, of not being loved, of being rejected/unwanted, of criticism, of getting hurt, etc. will we be able to recognize true love within, and with it to feel it for somebody else.

    This doesn’t mean that we have to be all perfectly balanced, cleared and in constant inner harmony in order to feel true love! On the contrary, unconditional love is a path and a life-style.

    All this life-style requires is dedication and honest reflection; recognizing our inner aspects holding us back and then remembering how to re-connect with ourselves – to connect with our self-love. If we cannot feel unconditional self-love we will continue making others, circumstances or our past responsible for not be able feel true love. Whenever we catch ourselves in this thought pattern, we know that we are not on the path to True Love 😉

    True Love in Relationships

    True Love between two people describes the resonance field that can occur between two individuals already in the state of true love with themselves. True Love doesn’t come through another person; neither can we control the state another person is in! True Love is a resonance in which we allow and attract through our True Self.

    Apart from the romantic and karmic aspect of a relationship, the nature and possibility of True Love between two persons is primarily determined by the nature and quality of the inner relationship of the individuals with themselves!

    In essence, as long as we cannot really feel this kind of unconditional and expansive love within and towards ourselves, it is practically impossible to resonate on this vibrational level with another person. In some cases this can also mean, that we may as well meet/already are with a person with whom we could theoretically resonate on this level, but don’t manage to overcome our own limitations.

    What is holding us back?

    Let’s all be bone-crushing honest! Why do we agree to conditions in relationships that are far off our true needs, true heart’s desires and true selves? Why do we so often mistake conditional love for True Love?

    The main thing holding us back to love unconditionally is that we cannot love ourselves unconditionally. Our inner dissonances separate us from our True Selves and our true needs and often block our communication. We become incongruent with ourselves and make our love depend on props instead of true feelings.

    To be able to connect with others and love ourselves unconditionally requires trust and willingness to let go and to integrate our fears and emotions. Without an honest inner and outer communication this is not possible. Our ability to connect and love depends solely on our ability to be connected with our own heart.

    True Love means to surrender all our fears and to be fully congruent and in love with who we truly are – to recognize Divinity in ourselves and thus in others!

    About the Author

    Jona Bryndis is an energy coach and remote energy worker. She is founder of transCODES, a virtual platform bringing people from all over the world interested in spiritual and practical self-transformation work together in her forum. She and her growing team of transCOACHES facilitate regular remote energy transMISSIONS and monthly free Remote Prayers, as well as published a series of Energy Mediation CD/MP3 processes allowing for deeper inner work of the individual. To learn more about her work and transCODES, check out www.transcodeshop.com or follow transcodes on facebook. Please visit her excellent website, TransCodes, where this article was originally featured.

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