9 Easy Ways To Get Your Name on a Government Watch List

Terror WatchlistAlice Jones Webb, Contributor
Waking Times

You might think that government watch lists are reserved for violent radical extremists. You might be wrong.

There is a very serious war taking place, a “war on terror“. Which should sound ludicrous to any rational, thinking human being. How can we wage a war on terror? Terror is a consequence of war itself. You can’t fight a war on something that war produces? Talk about a vicious cycle. And terror doesn’t only exist overseas. There are apparently very dangerous people here on domestic soil, too. Dangerous people that don’t follow the herd. Who don’t walk in orderly lines. Scary people that oppose corrupt systems.

Some people consider earning a spot on the government watch list as a badge of honor. Fortunately for them, it doesn’t seem too difficult to land yourself on one of these government watch lists (at least not if you’ve ever had a thought independent of the ones the media is constantly spoon feeding you… or if you’re a fairly normal and boring human being). Here is a short list of pretty non-terrifying  and easy ways to land yourself on a government watch list.

1. Displaying Bumper Stickers on Your Vehicle

If you think the display of snarky bumper stickers all over the back of your minivan is just a form of self-expression, you’re wrong. It could be an act of terrorism. According to a training manual used in the State and Local Anti-Terrorism Training (SLATT) program for law enforcement (and funded by the Department of Justice) some bumper stickers could be indications of terrorist activity. Some suspicious sticker subjects include pro-life, pro-freedom, anti-genetic engineering, anti-United Nations, and patriotism (because patriotism = terrorism… interesting). Got any of these on your bumper? You might be a terrorist… because, you know… terrorists always announce themselves with bumper stickers.

2. Shop at Costco or Sam’s Club

Purchasing food in bulk (at least enough to last more than 7 days) could be interpreted as suspicious activity. Even if you just like the convenience of fewer grocery store trips, or you have a large family, or maybe you only get paid monthly, or like to save money (that’s probably just a cover anyway), stocking up on mega amounts of peanut butter and toilet paper and ravioli could mean you’re a terrorist.

3. Pay With Cash

Suspicious, isn’t it? That you would pay cold hard cash for anything? Maybe because it’s harder for the powers that be to keep tabs on cash purchases than electronic ones. Think twice about pulling out a few ones to pay for your morning coffee. It’s probably even more terrifying if you pay for your bulk peanut butter, toilet paper, and ravioli with a few twenties.

4. Vote Third Party

Step outside the two-party political illusion and you might be considered a terrorist threat. A law enforcement report (2009) from the Missouri Information Analysis Center (MIAC) listed libertarians (and Ron Paul supporters) as potential terrorist threats. In 2011, Vice President Biden equated Tea Party supporters with terrorists. Heck, you probably don’t even have to vote with a third party, perhaps just thinking about voting for someone outside the two party system would be enough to get you in trouble with the “thought police”.

5. Fly the American Flag

According to that same MIAC report, people who fly the U.S. flag (or any of several historic American flags like the “Betsy Ross flag” or the “Gadsden flag”) could be equated with extremist hate groups and domestic terrorists. Be careful on Independence Day. Those potential terrorists are everywhere.

Gadsden Flag

6. Homeschool

Unless you’re teaching your kids how to field strip a rifle in under a minute you probably think that you’re safe. All of those worksheets and museum trips and popsicle-stick art couldn’t possibly be a threat to national security. Yet the documentary film, 9/11: The Road To Tyranny, featured footage of a lecturer at a FEMA symposium for first responders stating that homeschoolers were terrorists and should be treated with the utmost suspicion and brutality in times of national emergency. Wow. Here I thought I was just providing a superior education.

7. Plant A Garden

If you want fresh vegetables or you just enjoy getting your hands dirty, you might be a domestic terrorist. According to an 18-year law enforcement veteran, the Department of Homeland Security is training local police to recognize potential domestic terrorists. On the list: self-sufficiency. And if you’re canning your extra tomatoes, that could be interpreted as “stock-piling food”, another item on their list of criteria. Buying fertilizer for your garden could also catch the FBI’s attention, especially if you asked too many questions at the farm supply store.

8. Take Pictures or Videos

Who doesn’t take pictures of symbolic monuments while on vacation? Showing too much interest in or snapping “inappropriate” photos of important landmarks could earn you some attention from the FBI. Think twice before capturing one more family memory in front of the Capitol Building next time you vacation in Washington D.C.

9. Believe in Conspiracy Theories

After reading this list, it’s easy to believe in some insane government conspiracy to land every American citizen on a government watch list. Beware: Believing in conspiracy theories… well, that’s reason enough to land your name on a government watch list.

About the Author

Alice Jones Webb is a writer, autodidact, and homeschooling mother to four children. She spends her days folding laundry, raising free-thinkers, and questioning everything. She can easily be found on Facebook, Twitter, and her website, Different Than Average, where she writes social commentary and chronicles a life that challenges the status quo.

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  • disqus_smWiOrvPtd

    There’s bound to be some paranoia when you’re building a world government and don’t want to tell anybody.

  • seekless

    Obama will save me oooocome on fake racists

  • seekless

    Keep talking psycho freaks you can not convince your own family of your hogwash theories never mind strangers.

  • Marar Patrunjelovici

    “And how we burned in the camps later, thinking: What would things have been like if every security operative, when he went out at night to make an arrest, had been uncertain whether he would return alive and had to say good-bye to his family? Or if, during periods of mass arrests, as for example in Leningrad, when they arrested a quarter of the entire city, people had not simply sat there in their lairs, paling with terror at every bang of the downstairs door and at every step on the staircase, but had understood they had nothing left to lose and had boldly set up in the downstairs hall an ambush of half a dozen people with axes, hammers, pokers, or whatever else was at hand? After all, you knew ahead of time that those bluecaps were out at night for no good purpose. And you could be sure ahead of time that you’d be cracking the skull of a cutthroat.”
    ― Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, The Gulag Archipelago 1918-1956

  • Anti Everything

    Oh Great, I’m screwed! However, I don’t homeschool since I have no children, I quit voting years ago and I certainly don’t fly any flags or trash the car up with stickers.

  • Badger Badgerism


  • Ben William

    Take the ‘opt out’ option at the airport.

  • 16rpark18

    …if you have a pulse, you might be a terrorist- its ridiculous, fear and paranoia is firmly in control of our culture, law enforcement and way of life- American’s are afraid of EVERYTHING.

  • mothman777

    5th-columnist crypto-Jewish President Roosevelt, who traitorously knew Stalin was intent on invading America after defeating Germany, yet carried on arming Russia for a whole year under an illegal continuance of the Lend-Lease Program after he learned of that, is recorded as saying that the American people are the enemy.

    The Jewish Communists after Stalin stated that they would take America without firing a shot, and they have. That is the future that Americans were conned into fighting for in WWII. Welcome, the American people killed their real friends, the German National Socialists after being taken over by the parasite, and they are now living in Jew Bolshevik Amerika, and like glove puppets, fight wars only for the intended JWO, before they too are annihilated also, as they destroy all those they use, as they will share the seat of power with no one.

    Around 30% of all white immigrants to America were of German stock, so this was a very convenient way of annihilating as much German stock as possible, the German bloodlines being capable of remembering their true humanity free from slavery to the chosenites, and that of course could never be allowed by the chosenites.

    The Jews stated that three sons of Israel were going to destroy Germany for them, and of course, despite theories to the contrary, those three sons of Israel were undoubtedly Roosevelt, Churchill and Stalin.


    • wally63

      Jews will get their 15 minutes of fame and glory. But then, … the story changes. haha

  • Dimitri Ledkovsky

    If you have a SS # you’re already on a list.

    • Gabriel

      I got 88 and SS on license plate of my black Mercedes,can be something more obvious ?:))

  • Luke

    Number 10 Reading this article hahaha

  • OldeSoul

    So okay, the government makes their lists and people like this author make lists…. so what? Is someone going to read this and stop gardening? Taking photos? Canning tomatoes? Of course not, and I really don’t see the point, or why we’re supposed to care about arbitrary lists that mean absolutely nothing.

    • Manna Made

      I think the point here is that it just demonstrates the Orwellian nature of this RELIGION called GOVERNMENT and their mass DELUSION of AUTHORITY.

      I personally hope that they just come out and make everything illegal so that even the dumbest among us will get the point. WHO NEEDS ANOTHER FALSE RELIGION TO WOR(K)SHIP?

      Publishing the list’s they make is just a good opportunity to show others the childishness of the people who are in control. When DHS comes out with their lists and create labels such as “RIGHT WING EXTREMIST” it begs the question; Who are creating such labels? Under what authority of law are they doing this? WHO’S GETTING PAID TO MAKE THESE LABELS AND LISTS, Is it “LEFT WING EXTREMIST” ?

      Do we really need GOVERNMENT? Sure we need systems of cooperation, but do we need GOVERNMENT with their childish ILLUSION of their AUTHORITY? I think not.

    • BDBinc

      You said it.

      The Crown’s govt are not having a ‘war on terror”.
      The govt has always waged a war on the people, using their name to create money out of nothing -to enslave them using the govt system of control.

  • Rick

    Sam’s Club,a garden,paying with US currency,You got me.

    • Jose Klatter

      You think that’s too farfetched? You gotta get the fluoride out of your brain. Asap. Wait, a garden? Humm. I may have to agree with you on that. All the other stuff makes sense.

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