The Fall Inside

Flickr-fallinside-vonSchnauzerIda Lawrence and Soren Dreier, Contributors
Waking Times

People say there’s a thin line between love and hate, good and evil, right and wrong. There may be a thin line…we could call it the everyday decision point. If we look at it that way, the line helps us lay out the coordinates of an inner guidance system for self empowerment.

Let’s begin with a story recalled from memory. It’s the story of the afterlife of a pious Tibetan monk. When the monk made his transition, his brothers carefully followed the spiritual tradition and chanted for 21 days, using crystal balls, and communicating with their brother in order to help his soul stay near the monastery and on the spiritual path.

At one point during this process, the monks became unsettled… they saw that their brother couldn’t proceed. He was caught under a rock and was asking for help. They asked him why he was under the rock, and he answered that he didn’t know. They encouraged him to figure it out, otherwise, that would be his purgatory.

He did look into the reason he was under the rock, and came back with a particular memory. He remembered being in the kitchen one morning and seeing a cockroach. He put his foot on it. In his spiritual practice, taking any life is forbidden. The monk had disobeyed on that morning, and he never came to terms with it. There it remained. In order to continue on his journey, the monk had to face and work through the unresolved wrong.

  • That little story tells a lot about our perception of our own wrongdoings. Who knows better about wrongdoing: we… our higher selves, accessed within, or the social conditioning systems that human beings have structured to tell us what is wrong and right…those networks of control we call the matrix.

    We are very much used to the concept of ‘falling from Grace’ from the outside – God, in other words. But since we don’t subscribe to judgment by the SkyGods, we must recognize that it’s more of an internal affair.

    If we fall from our own Grace, the results can be devastating. Sickness kicks in, on every scale imaginable. We simply ‘get sick inside’ – of ourselves… and that will spread like a blizzard through the immune system. Not degraded by disobeying God, the matrix, but by the convenience of choosing solutions where we simply know better.

    ‘I knew I shouldn’t have done that’, and so on.

    Don’t get us wrong here. We are not talking about the right to make mistakes, we are not talking of learning by doing – we are merely stating the fact of: when we evolve within ourselves, our hearts, our wisdom, and we don’t listen to our own evolution, since quite frankly, evolution can be very inconvenient, we take the fall. We might, as mentioned, want to put that into an external God context, but that’s a matrix mechanic reminiscent of an outside judge still, so no: we target the God-force inside. The silent observer. The soul.

    The dark and gloomy side of wrongdoing holds our gridlock and the key to our inner freedom. If we look at how we degrade ourselves and lower our resonance, then we can also look at how we refuse to fall inside, how we resonate more closely with the higher self, and come to terms with our past actions. When we hear the thought, “I won’t go there anymore” change to “I can’t do that to myself,” it will be accompanied by a feeling – that’s the soul’s default setting… the return to self.

    Our decisions are made in the moment: “Am I comfortable with this… do I have to… they say it’s required.” We’ll call these decisions agreements, each one small, like a little pearl. How does it feel… this little decision I am making? Asking how it feels is a good place to start with regard to our internal guidance system. We are manipulated to think we don’t have inner wisdom, and the outside source has it… but that is not true. Our feeling – the resonance inside – holds our wisdom and our knowledge at a deeper level.

    Let’s also make a distinction between morals and ethics; morals being those directions given to us by systems within the matrix, and ethics being the directions that are coded within us – the connection with our higher self… our inner divinity.

    The external directives of the matrix are everywhere – in every culture, every religion, every government, every corporation, every business, every family. It is a universal grid. For a taste of the external matrix dynamic, we can look at the egoistic, bloody, jealous God (Ego) of the Old Testament meeting up with the higher perspective of ‘Self’.

    We have already grown past looking for Ego solutions, and that’s a good reason to be proud, but we gotta stick to the soul-utions if we want this heart-based movement that we’re involved in to prevail. Staying Power.

    Today we are taking on the evolutionary task again – learning by doing, doing by ethics, and mixing whatever we can find in all the ethical and philosophical teachings with the information coming from metaphysicians traveling in celestial dimensions. Sorting as we go… asking our inner compass… how does it feel?

    Now we can look more closely at how the external directives work against us: there are likely millions who wish they could obey their own compassion and disobey a workplace policy or procedure that is cold-hearted and repugnant to them. But to keep the job, or advance themselves, they may make a very small agreement to compromise ethics. People make these types of agreements every day – one pearl after another on the string.

    In the beginning, when we take the fall inside we know. But after some time, business as usual will begin to muffle the sound of the inside voice, justifications will be believed, and the compassionate heart will become a few degrees colder. So many exist within compromising positions…it could be the police officer, the military man, the woman who signs off on evictions, the laborer spraying the roundup.

    If they don’t know there is a wrong, there will be no ethical dilemma. But if they do… and if they make an agreement, they are in both a sad state and a beautiful state. The sad is that they took a fall; the beauty is that they can feel the thin line… for it is never too late to decide not to fall.

    We’ve heard it said that what we chose defines us, and it does. But could there be more… as the fall continues and agreements that are even more compromising begin to make the heart freeze over, could it activate DNA of lower states? We speculate on that as we have seen the fall inside go far, far deeper than simply following a repugnant policy or doing a job for the matrix.

    We see in today’s world, and we have seen throughout history, human beings discarding their inborn blueprint, becoming deaf to their inner voice, making mockery of ethics, and even re-writing the morals of the matrix to accommodate a descent. Basically, that is the programming of the matrix. Womb until tomb, how low can you go? Well… we watch. And, as we watch a display of unimaginable depths, we wonder… are these people human? Perhaps not so much anymore.

    Ethics: this is the resonance of our celestial or ethical compass. In order to return to that inner compass and become familiar with its knowledge, we must wake up to the world and what the world means, and we must to go inside and wake up to our true selves. Both of these self-empowering steps constitute an inner awaking.

    This does not mean that we should immediately ignore external messages of right and wrong and go inside for all coordinates. When we begin this work, most of what we’ll find on the inside will be the ego’s opinion mixed with conditioning and programming. Sorting out ‘what is what’ is part of the process of waking up to what the world means and waking up to our true selves. We are a feeling… a resonance… and not an opinion of right and wrong, love and hate, good and evil.

    On a social scale, good morals and right and wrong messages are very much tied to the religious dictates, the economy, and to herd programming. For that reason it can be very beneficial to accept and learn from mentors and teachers who are able to help us tune in and adjust our coordinates.

    As we watch layers and layers of lies peel off the false reality we believed in, we separate from the herd mentality, and we see consuming for what it is and war for what it is. Eyes wide open, millions of us are sharing experiences, sharing thoughts – not pushing them or trying to persuade – just sharing. This realignment to the warm heart, the human soul, the guide within… is the warrior’s strength. It’s also the matrix’s weakness.

    In doing this – confronting the matrix by not confronting it – we strengthen each other, and encourage each other to no longer make agreements. Every moment that the inner knowing is listened to over and above the outer dictates, the inner coordinates become stronger.

    Eventually a person with a very good connection to the heart will have a default setting. It’s important to remember that these settings will not be one-size-fits-all. There will be differences, and we want to respect our differences when they are soul-based. For example, the ethical directive to not destroy life must be extended to include not destroying life psychologically. Allowing and non-judgment belong in our coordinates.

    People have a right to do whatever they feel they need to do, without harming others. From the vegetarian who wants a hamburger, to the sister who wants a cigarette, to the husband who wants a divorce, to the neighbor who wants to keep the uncomfortable job, we are not called to judge or lecture on what is ethical. Our ethics are our own, and certainly a warm heart can observe and love without judgment.

    If we refuse to take the fall inside when confronted by the matrix – friends, spouse, whatever – we start to become self-empowered: not saved, not holy, not wanting everybody to see how spiritual we are… just humans working on warming the heart and standing their ground. Specialness cannot exist for very long in a warrior, for they come to know their own darkness as well as their light. So, if you do encounter someone with a celestial resonance, they’ll likely not know it or care to speak of it.

    Finally, ‘self’ is embedded in the blueprint. The self-empowered person has no need to be right or to be seen as being right. ‘Self’ does not exclude, and one’s own happiness becomes tied in with the prosperity of others – happy to be here in life, happy to discover something new, happy to feel the love of friends, and happy to look at our own string of pearls… some dark, some light and shades of golden.

    It’s the final walk in the matrix from which we can no longer stray.

    Outer guidance system dissolving – inner guidance systems up and running.

    GPS transcended.

    About the Authors

    Ida Lawrence is an author, blogger, copywriter and editor based in Atlanta, Georgia. She has contributed to and edited two books on racial justice and human rights, and numerous articles on human rights, self-empowerment and related subjects. Her latest book is entitled The Warrior’s Way to Heaven on Earth. Ida has also published a companion book of blog favorites from

    Soren Dreier is the author of, an excellent blog with mind-blowing perspectives on the modern world.

    This article is offered under Creative Commons license. It’s okay to republish it anywhere as long as attribution bio is included and all links remain intact.

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