Creating Your Own Reality – How’s that Working for You?
There’s been a lot of buzz in the past few years about the Law of Attraction and the idea that we create our own reality. But is that true? Do we really create our own reality? And if so, why would we create some of the things we’ve created in our lives and in the world? Are we masochistic or just nuts?
The idea was popularized in the late 1970s, in the Seth Material, a group of channeled books by Jane Roberts. It was a radical idea, and it pretty much caused heads to explode all over the place! About 10 years ago, The Secret brought the idea back into the popular culture, as everyone embraced the idea of envisioning themselves to wealth and success.
So, do we really create our own reality? If so, why aren’t we doing a better job of it, creating more love, joy, peace, and abundance for ourselves and for the world? What’s the holdup? Why aren’t we all out there doing just that?
We are, in fact, divine, powerful creator beings, and yes, we are creating our lives in many ways, on many levels, in every moment. But here’s the rub (er, the disclaimers):
- Most of the time, we are creating unconsciously, from deep beliefs, assumptions, and expectations that we may not even know we have (OUCH!), and it is very hard to take responsibility for our role in creating situations that we think are someone else’s fault and that we don’t like and think we would never create for ourselves.
- We aren’t creating in a vacuum. As they say, You are God, but so is everyone else! And most of us are totally unaware of that fact! (And many would actually recoil at the notion!) We are co-creating with the millions of other creator beings in the world, who are also creating unconsciously, and who all have different wants, needs, and agendas. And the creations of all those beings often impact each others’ creations (what we see, in our personal lives and in the outer world, is what we get when that happens);
- Energizing the vision of what we want is usually only the first step, and sitting on the couch waiting for what we want to miraculously appear won’t work; we must take action (remember the idea of God helps those who help themselves?!)
- Once we set the vision, we must let go of the outcome. When we try to control it, we prevent the flow of Magic that can bring us something better than we ever imagined. When we are too specific about what we want and how it will “look,” in essence, we tie God’s hands (it will probably take longer to manifest that perfect mate with those 57 specific attributes than the wonderful mate that has many better qualities than we could think of).
- Sometimes we actually get the essence of what we want, but it does not come in the package we expected or look like we thought it should/would, so we don’t even notice that we received it!
- There is a timeline—a gap—between our sending out the creative impulse or intention and the manifestation of it. And in the meantime, our impatience, negative beliefs, doubts, fears, and/or lack of action can delay or cancel it, or even create the opposite of what we want! (For example, if we send out the intention to attract more money, a new job, a new love, or whatever—but we subconsciously fear or believe that we don’t deserve it, that there is only a limited supply, that it’s hard to get those things, or that we will fail—those fears and beliefs actually will prevent us from attracting what we want.)
- We can often manifest the easy, non-essential things quickly—such as a parking place or the perfect jacket to match those new slacks—simply because we have no deep-seated beliefs against our receiving those things.
- There is usually no clear-cut, observable cause-and-effect, and the timeline/gap can vary widely, so it is difficult to practice and “hone our manifestation skills”.
- Sometimes we just aren’t supposed to have what we are trying to create, because it is contrary to our life plan, purpose, or highest good. These are the times when we pray, and the answer really is NO!
Often the very situations in our lives that we would like to eliminate are there because of a soul or life plan, and those situations will not shift until we fulfill their purpose, provide whatever service we had planned to provide, learn whatever we intended to learn, overcome our fear, empower ourselves, take action, and shift inside.
For example, if we came into this life with the soul plan to experience a disabling accident or illness—with the idea that the situation would allow us to learn to receive love and assistance, and give others the opportunity to provide it—it is unlikely that any amount of working with the Law of Attraction or envisioning will heal us. Alternatively, if our soul’s life goal was to overcome a disability, and we’ve done our part to learn and grow from the situation, a path to overcoming it will present itself. Of course, “overcoming” may look a little different from what we thought we wanted!
Too often, we view the idea of creating our reality as a quick fix to all our problems, a magical means of controlling our lives and our environment – and even the people around us – through our conscious minds and our egos, to create all those material things and external circumstances that we think we want and need to be happy. Too often, we view the idea of creating our reality as the “magic pill” to make us instantly wealthy and thin (or whatever), while we conveniently bypass the messy, hard parts of learning, growing, and persevering.
But it doesn’t work that way. We all know that there is no such thing as a “magic pill,” even while we hope with all our hearts that there is one, and we’ll find it! In order to bring meaningful, lasting change into our lives, we know, deep down, that we must change our erroneous beliefs, confront our inner demons, face down our fears, put our ego in the back seat, get over our pride and our deeply held needs to control everything and be right all the time, and surrender… and THEN (as if that weren’t hard enough!), we must take actions, even if they are only baby steps, toward our goals. And, when resistance or difficulties show up in our path (and they will, just so we can show the Universe we really want it, and we’re willing to put our money where our mouth is, so to speak), THEN we must work through those obstacles and setbacks, reaffirm our goals and our worthiness, focus on what we want, and keep moving forward with faith, trust, and determination.
Otherwise, we’d miss all the fun, right?
This is not an easy process, but it is THE process (as long as the majority of us believe it is!) It is what life is all about. It is about stripping away the false thoughts and beliefs and fears that keep us imprisoned (in the Hell of our own creation, so to speak). It is about learning to be flexible, rising above challenges, learning and maturing from our experience, learning to trust ourselves and the Universe… and finally getting back to a point where we are truly living as our authentic selves, working with the Universe and not against it, and treating ourselves and each other with love and respect as we learn to peacefully co-exist.
If we really were here to wave a magic wand and create the life of our dreams (aka what we have been led to think we want), we would all be doing that right now (and probably making a mess)! We would all receive our magic wands in the delivery room, or as a rite of passage when we turned… what? 15? 18? 21? Yikes! Can you imagine a bunch of 15 year-olds with magic wands, able to create anything they want? Hahaha, parents would be disappearing across the planet in record numbers (and they would take broccoli with them)!
So How Does it Really Work?
Inventor Nikola Tesla told us: If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.
The being(s) called Abraham, channeled through Esther Hicks, teach that we are all creating our reality under the Law of Attraction, based on the vibration we are putting out into the world. In essence, they say that we get back what we put out.
There is a famous adage, As above, so below. The lesser-known—and perhaps more important, in these times of great change—corollary to that is, As within, so without. The Law of Attraction, based on our vibration, explains how that corollary works: We can only attract into our lives people and circumstances that resonate with the vibration we are putting out. This isn’t a new concept, and we’ve had this idea for centuries, although it is usually interpreted to relate only to our actions: We reap what we sow, or, the more contemporary version, What goes around comes around.
The idea of vibratory resonance takes the idea to a new level and gives us another way to work with it. In fact, we are in a continuous feedback loop: Whatever is present in our lives is a direct reflection of the vibrations we previously put out into the world. (And to that, some of us just have to say, OUCH!) What we experience, and how we feel about it, provides the feedback: If we don’t like what we are experiencing and don’t feel good about it, we must raise our vibration in order to attract something better into our experience. Another way to look at it is the idea that doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result, is the definition of insanity. If we want something to change, we must change something about ourselves or what we’re doing.
Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—
you’re right. ~ Henry Ford
But what creates the vibration that we are putting out to the world? It is a combination of our deep—often unconscious—beliefs, our level of self-love and trust, our emotional state (fear, despair, pessimism, or optimism and love), our predominant mindset, and our thoughts, words, and deeds, and where we focus our attention.
It is all, perhaps, an elaborate form of self-fulfilling prophecy. If we believe life is hard, it is. If we believe we can’t get a break, we can’t. If we believe we must suffer to get ahead, we will. If we believe people will let us down, they will. And we may not even consciously know that we are carrying those beliefs! The Universe unerringly gives us what we (unconsciously) expect, and shows us that our deep (unconscious) beliefs are right. And whatever we focus our attention on (the good, the bad, or the ugly) will grow as the Universe tries to give us more of what we want!
It seems like a nasty Catch-22 to realize that, in the midst of difficult circumstances, the most constructive thing we can do is to consciously reach for those higher vibrations: to force our minds out of victimhood, blaming, complaining, and negativity (or from wallowing in self-pity) and into optimism, hope, trust, forgiveness, and gratitude. It feels like being in a Heads they win, tails we lose situation or, worse, the being butt of a giant cosmic joke on us.
Forgive, o Lord, my little jokes on thee,
And I’ll forgive Thy great big one on me! ~ Robert Frost
But our mindset goes a long way in determining our vibration. Optimism has a higher vibration than pessimism. Victimhood, despair, blaming, negativity, and complaining all have low vibrations, as do fear, hatred, irritation, and frustration. Self-loathing and self-doubt? Very low. Laughter, love, joy, hope, gratitude, forgiveness, responsibility, and trust all carry higher vibrations. It’s that old cliché about when your house burns down around you, be grateful that you’re still alive! Not just pretending, but truly grateful! The more we pull ourselves up out of the muck, regardless of what we are experiencing, and reach for something better—trusting that we deserve and can have something better—the more we raise our vibration and set up the vibrational environment to attract and create something better.
The real key to consciously creating lies in acknowledging what is (whatever is presenting in our lives), accepting responsibility for our role in creating it and bringing it into our lives (even if we don’t know how/why we did it), learning whatever lessons we can find from the experience, and working to identify what deep beliefs are being reflected back at us, so we can work to change them. Then we send out the vision of what we want, let go of the outcome, and follow our guidance as it comes. We must let go of the outcome and trust the Universe to do its Magic.
That is where the proverbial rubber hits the road. When we can use the lemons life hands us to make lemonade, we have won the game! When we can see the silver lining in those dark clouds that feel like they are choking the life out of us, we have effectively repositioned ourselves. When we can forgive and feel gratitude for those who have seemingly hurt us (often creating situations in which we must stand up for ourselves or take actions of self-love in the face of our fears), we have cleared the finish line! And when we can flow through challenges—and even disasters—without judgment, trusting that the Universe has our back, that we are safe, and that something good will come from it, we have our feet planted firmly on the road to enlightenment.
That doesn’t mean that we never feel down and never really loathe some of the challenges we encounter. We are only human, after all, and life on earth can be pretty harsh and painful! It just means that when we go down into the pits of despair and self-pity, we choose not totake up permanent residence!
And it doesn’t mean that we blame ourselves or move into guilt about our “failure” to create whatever it is we said we wanted. Unfortunately, too often we move into “New Age guilt,” self-blame, and self-flagellation when we have used all the techniques to create something and we don’t get it. We know it is “our fault” that we haven’t attracted that perfect job with the high salary or the perfect mate who adores us (and makes a high salary). It’s our fault we haven’t cured ourselvesof that chronic disease or healed all of our family relationships. And, because we blame ourselves, we move into existential guilt.
With New Age guilt, instead of blaming other people for our pain, we blame ourselves. We fall into despair and loathe ourselves a little more than we did before. We believe we are failures. We use what (limited amount) we know about the Law of Attraction and creating our own reality to beat ourselves up about our perceived failures instead of using the FEEDBACK we get from the external world (e.g., our life, job, relationship, etc., still sucks!) to guide us inside toward the erroneous beliefs that are stopping us in our tracks. Remember, if we believe we are failures, we will fail at everything, because the Universe gives us the perfect reflection of what we believe! So, instead of helping us be pro-active in ferreting out the fears, resistance, and erroneous beliefs, and releasing them, this New Age guilt puts us into a different kind of loop; it puts us into a cycle of failure, self-blame, and self-loathing, which lowers our vibration and attracts more of the same, or worse. We are very funny creatures, aren’t we, that we would do this to ourselves!?
This is the true meaning of alchemy and the philosopher’s stone: it is the conscious, concerted effort to tame the ego/conscious mind away from its automatic negative responses (fear, guilt, blame, and unworthiness, etc.); to identify, uproot, and change our erroneous, self-defeating beliefs; to relinquish our illusion of control; and to direct our attention, thoughts, attitude, and actions toward higher vibrations, gratitude, and better things. It is tearing our eyes away from doom, gloom, and disaster; focusing on what is good in our lives; and putting our attention and energy into creating the loving, joyous, abundant life we want, and fearlessly taking those baby steps toward it.
Why didn’t we get a manual, so we’d know how to do this?
We actually did get the manual, and it shows up in the sacred texts of all religions. In Christianity, it’s called the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. We also were taught: Love your neighbor as yourself, and (as noted before) We Reap What We Sow. It seems relatively simple, doesn’t it?
Most of us probably think we are good people and we follow these simple instructions, but do we? Do we really treat others the way we want them to treat us? Do we always treat others with the love, respect, acceptance, and support that we wish we could receive? Do we treat everyone that way, or just the people we care about or want to impress? Do we treat people that way when we’re in a hurry? When we’re stressed out? When we’re competing for a job? When we’re feeling ill? Or do we treat others that way only on our “good days” or when we think someone is watching? If we treat others callously, with disregard and disrespect, why would we expect to be treated any differently? We will attract that treatment into our lives.
And how do we treat ourselves? Most of us think we do, but do we really love ourselves? Self-love must come first of all and, frankly, that is where most of us fail, and how we end up creating circumstances that we don’t like. How can we allow others to love us, and how can we love our neighbors, if we don’t really love ourselves? If we fear what makes us different, we will certainly fear what makes others different. If we don’t know how to treat ourselves with love and respect and support, how will we know what it looks like to treat others that way? And if we treat ourselves badly—blaming ourselves and acting as if we don’t matter—how can we expect others to treat us differently?
The best way to jump-start ourselves to higher vibrations and better lives is to consciously focus on all the good in our lives, stop focusing on what we don’t like, and begin spreading love around everywhere – first to ourselves and then to others—treating ourselves and others with the respect and support we want for ourselves, and sprinkling acts of kindness around the same way.
As we head into another amazing year in this Great Shift we are undergoing, it behooves us to monitor our progress by paying attention to what we’re getting back in that vibrational feedback loop (aka the external world) and what that’s showing us about where we need to release our fears, examine our beliefs, and tweak our vibration to get closer to creating and enjoying what we want—not just the specific material things that we think we want, but the qualities of life that we all want and need—love, peace, joy, ease, abundance, and good health!
About the Author
Ellyn Dye is an Author, Intuitive Coach, Metaphysical Teacher, and Public Speaker. A near-death experience in 1985 expanded her psychic abilities and created a link with some very loving—and humorous—Guardians of humanity and the ancient wisdom, the Lion People. They provided her with a vast array of information about life on earth and the evolution of mankind, and they opened an ongoing dialogue with her that has grown stronger over time. Ellyn is a popular internet radio guest, and was recently featured on a Fox News segment on NDEs. She publishes a monthly free newsletter, Tunnel Vision, and her articles are published in the December “Predictions Issues” of The Sedona Journal of Emergence. She is author of the metaphysical fantasy novel, The Search for the Crystal Key, and is working on a new book, Creating Heaven on Earth. . . One Soul at a Time; A How-To Manual from the Perspective of a Near-Death Experience. Watch videos, listen to her radio interviews, and find out more about Ellyn and her products and services at www.LionMagic.com.
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