By October 13, 2012 8 Comments Read More →

How to Cultivate Unconditional Love and Forgiveness

Barbara-Lynn Freed, Contributing Writer
Waking Times

We are all familiar with Personal Love as a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection we have toward people, pets, or treasured items in our lives. Often used as a term of endearment, we usually see personal love as an intense, emotional attachment or attraction to those we care about. With personal love we can lapse into our lower emotions and hold grudges against others, or concentrate on suffering. In doing so we hinder the effectiveness of our love in relationships, as well as, our own wellbeing.

However, if we allow ourselves to focus on Divine or Unconditional Love, we can learn to look at our glass of life, as being half full, instead of being half empty. In this way we can learn to transform our lower emotions of anger, jealousy, envy and greed into something positive. Pure, Unconditional Love, works without expectation, or attachment to the outcome, and asks for nothing in return. It’s radiant light can resist and overcome every other energy it encounters, for it is the binding force of the universe.


So how do we bridge the gap between Personal Love and Unconditional Love? The first step in this mighty process is learning how to love and accept yourself for who you are. The second step is to expect love in your life, in all your relationships, and with everyone else you encounter. Here we must remember the Universal Law that says energy follows thought. If we think it, it will happen! Finding goodness in others will help you achieve your own goals, by attracting the same to you. The third step is to work for the highest good of all, by surrendering all your expectations to Spirit.(or your favorite Divine Diety)

Obviously, you will need to do an enormous amount of inner work to find true, Unconditional Love in your life. However, an exercise I have found most valuable in shifting my vibration and consciousness is to silently or verbally chant Divine Love for five minutes to an indefinite amount of time. You will be amazed at how quickly your mood shifts to one of peace, and the outcome of any situation becomes favorable to all concerned. When we have Love in our heart, life becomes a joy to behold!

The act of Forgiveness helps us to develop and nourish Love in our lives. Releasing blame and judgment of others is imperative to succeed, for Forgiveness is a spiritual initiative grounded in the humility of accepting that we don’t always need to be right. When we use our emotions or intellect as a rational explanation to forgive, we fail to see the very essence of what we are trying to achieve. Forgiveness, being born from the heart, and not from the head, can teach us that we are all reflections of each other. In this way, we use the spiritual energy of Love to assess our relationships by looking for similarities in people, rather than differences.

About the Author
Barbara-Lynn Freed is the Founder and Facilitator of the Center for Transformational Studies where she helps people heal their core issues through her twenty-year old spiritual healing practice called Awakening the Heart!,and her Transformational Astrology readings, that focus on your Karmic challenges, evolutionary goals and your life’s true purpose.  She also helps shamanic students connect with the spirits of nature through her three-year, cross-cultural, shamanic apprenticeship, called Resurrecting the Old Ways: Walking the Land & Honoring the Spirits in Right Relationship.  Please visit her website for more information at http://TransformationalStudies.com.
Posted in: Contributors, Ideas, Self, Society
  • Victor Gagnon

    Great article but I have but one question for Barbara. “Have you ever experienced in some form or other, no details needed, Unconditional Love?” My understand from your article is that someone does me or my family harm and I must still love them or simply love everything in the world or seeing the world just as it is perfect. Is this unconditional love? Can you tell me what that means? Do you think we must experience everything we are taught to make it our truth. Thank you for allowing me to share my opinion

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  • sam

    Like anonymous at October 17, 2012 at 5;49pm, I agree; ‘unconditional love’ is rather a myth.

    It was if not invented then widely pushed by the Human Potential Movement on an unsuspecting and naive public. Who knows for what reasons?

    In raising my kids, like other parents of my generation, I tended towards ‘unconditional’. I rather think that the product is adults who feel they can transgress any rules, any regulations they like and always expect to be met with acceptance and even approval.

    This dynamic and expectation blights our younger generations. Just look at what happens daily on our city streets – disrepectful youth unable to exercise self-control and whining ‘No fair!’ when they justifiably get pulled up.

    Another key point for religious/spiritual folk: we are not God. Only God can truly love unconditionally (though read your Bible. He was quick to punish those who stepped out of line!)

    In the absence of our ability to love unconditionally, the ancient Golden Rule ‘Don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want them to do to you’ is probably the best and simplest advice.

  • Anonymous

    “Unconditional love” is the myth I raised my children by. I know understand that love must have the condition that it be returned,m or you will become a doormat.
    “Ho Oponopono” is a better concept for maintaining family relations.

  • Gintaras

    Deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection we have toward people, pets, yeah for sure but things? Huh? Like you love your 57 chevy – naught! Love is for life – things you appreciate!

  • Steven

    BRAVO!!!!! I work as a psychic on Oranum.com. I endlessly speak to my clients about this exactly! When love is nurtured, then there is no room for fear, hate, anger, and all of the lower vibrational emotions. Love is the way!

    • Forgiveness for liars, thieves and murderers
      is cowardice. Dispising those who are vermin is the useful result of MORALITY. Rule of baby killers and facist scum over us will not be overcome by “loving” the vermin. Psycho murderer
      police state lawyer, bankster rats don’t want or need your love. Just your submission. Love what is right, reject those who enslave you. Jesus was full of crap. Love those who are worthy of love, not just anybody.
      Universal unconditional love is a cheap excuse for cowardice and enslavement to the military junta that rules over you in this facist state called a republic.

      • dimitri

        You never hear David Icke carry on about universal love for the child molesters that he continually exposes.

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